From ‘soulmates’ to ‘open relationships’: Love in Spain (backed by data)
By Gala Conde · Communications consultant at GAD3.
Valentine’s Day is approaching, a date that traditionally conjures up images of classic romance. But beyond the chocolates and flowers, analysing the trends from the latest CIS studies on romantic relationships, we discover that Spaniards are undergoing a transition: we maintain traditional values, but we strongly embrace a much more pragmatic realism.
Social belief or biology?
Sociological data in Spain points to a growing sense of realism (or scepticism). According to a CIS study, only 41% of Spaniards believe that love should last a lifetime. We have moved on from ‘till death do us part’ to a model where the quality of the relationship takes precedence over its duration.
However, science has a surprise in store for the 59% of sceptics. Research from Harvard University, analysing brain scans, has shown that eternal love is biologically possible. The study revealed that some couples who had been together for over 20 years maintained the same dopamine activity in the ventral tegmental area as those who had just fallen in love. In other words: the chemical ‘spark’ may never fade.
This is discussed in this article in Vogue España
Fidelity that endures amidst new beginnings
Despite this shift in the duration of relationships, fidelity remains the national consensus. 81.5% of Spaniards directly associate true love with always being faithful. It is the unshakeable cornerstone of most couples’ relationships.
Why? According to science, whilst the initial infatuation is full of anxiety and obsession, lasting love, according to Harvard, activates the areas of the brain associated with calm and pain suppression. Spaniards seem to seek that security.
However, we can also speak of a growing ‘open-mindedness’: 32.3% of the population now considers the possibility of being in love with several people at once, and 18.5% believe that one can have sex outside the relationship without this signifying a lack of love.
What makes us ‘click’?
If you’re thinking of updating your profile on a dating app this Valentine’s Day, the data offers some advice: focus on your personality. When asked what’s most important in a partner, the results are clear:
- Vitality and a sense of humour: 61.9%
- Charisma and ‘people skills’: 46.3%.
- Sexual attractiveness: 24.6%.
- Physical beauty: Just 9.2%.
It seems that, in Spain, a good joke still beats a gym photo.
The Paradox of the Digital Cupid
The internet has established itself as the ‘third way’ to find love. Although most people meet their partner through friends (43%) or at work (14%), apps and social media (9.8%) now outnumber educational institutions or nightlife venues as the source of stable relationships. In fact, 45% of those who use these apps end up in a serious relationship.
But here lies a paradox: although 50% have a positive view of using the internet to meet people, its use for frequent “flirting” is very low (barely 2.7%). The data suggests that we use the internet more to keep in touch with our close circles (83.2% make video calls with friends and family) than for actively seeking new dates.
The rise of new models: Open relationships and polyamory
Perhaps the most striking finding is the growing acceptance of non-traditional relationship structures. Spain appears divided, but is far more open-minded than we tend to think:
- 41.4% of Spaniards view open relationships favourably.
- 41.2% support polyamory (maintaining two or more simultaneous romantic and sexual relationships).
Love in today’s Spain is a hybrid of traditional loyalty and the freedom of tomorrow. We value fidelity and laughter above all else, but we no longer demand that love be eternal for it to be true. This Valentine’s Day, the data confirms that, whether in a traditional relationship, on a dating app or in an open arrangement, Spaniards continue to place affection at the heart of our happiness.
What about you? Are you among the 53% who believe in soulmates?
You can access the full report via this link ENCUESTA SOBRE RELACIONES SOCIALES Y AFECTIVAS EN TIEMPOS DE PANDEMIADE LA COVID-19 Estudio nº 3325. Mayo-junio 2021
And from the ENCUESTA SOBRE RELACIONES SOCIALES Y AFECTIVAS POSPANDEMIA (III) Estudio nº 3400 Marzo 2023
